暖雪的快樂天堂

One day , a bot Jeff went to his classmate ' s house.They played with fire.Suddenly , the fire began to burn the cartains.They were very nervous.Jeff wanted to call the fire fighter , so he ran to the phone quickly.But he was unlucky.He fell and twisted fis ankle.The fire got bigger and bigger.Jeff and his classmate got burned on their hands , knee , feet and almost everywhere on their bobies.Two minutes later , the fire fighter still hadn't come , so they went to the window.They wanted to jump out and down to the road , but the room was full of smoke , they couldn't find where the window was.Jeff wasn't careful , so he banged his knee and pulled a muscle in his leg.Finally , they found the window.Wow!They were quite high.Jeff was very scared , but if he didn't jump , he would die.He couldn't choose , so he jumped.When he hit the ground , he dislocated his shoulder , broke his legs and hurt his back.

That day was Jeff's unlucky day.If you don't want a fire to burn your house down.Please don't play with fire.If you don't want to be like Jeff and his body burnt , ankle twisted , knee banged , pulled leg muscle , dislocated shoulder , broke legs and hurt back , please be careful.

指導老師評語：

Please use paragraphs to clearly organize.

You need to be specific with your descripyion of where the fire started and how.Curtains catch on fire fairly easily , so I guessed curtains.